That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Welp...herpes.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
