She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize