Whod you bang
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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