is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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