I just saw a hot homeless man
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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