Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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