I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
