does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My day in three words: secret purse cake
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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