did you get engaged???
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
