"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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