I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize