we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
