WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
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