yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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