It's like a parade of train wrecks.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
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