As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Sorry my hands just texted you
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
