I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
