so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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