You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
