this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize