I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
