I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
