i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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