I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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