Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
