A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
