Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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