Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize