hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
