tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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