This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
