it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
