DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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