is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
