Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
