I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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