i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
