You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
