I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
