I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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