dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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