it was like his penis was on wheels.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
