Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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