I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
