You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
