oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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