I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
