This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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