wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
