You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
