OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
