I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
