You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
