Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
