so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
