whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
babies were throwing up all over the place
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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