i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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