Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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