just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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