i think my tv is drunk
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
