Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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