I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
