hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
